Maybe they had a reason

Maybe it wasn’t true

Maybe they wish they could do it all over again

For the sake of me and u

Maybe they were too stubborn

To go to therapy

Maybe their hurt piled up like a big stack of books

That they couldn’t carry

It’s generational trauma

I got it from my momma

Her dad left when she was little

Maybe that’s where her anger came from

Now I’m the fucked up one

My dad's parents got divorced

When he was really little

Took half the siblings, put them in the middle

Maybe that’s the reason for all of his anger

I’m just tryin to find excuses, to make everything better

Maybe they got a laceration

And their mind got deflected

After not cleaning it up for a couple of months

It got infected

Then came a jury

Who didn’t understand

How easily you can break a kid

In the wrong hands

It’s generational trauma

I got it from my momma

Her dad left when she was little

Maybe that’s where all her anger came from

Now I’m the fucked up one

My dad's parents got divorced

When he was really little

Took half the siblings, put everyone in the middle

Maybe that’s the reason for all of his anger

I’m just tryin to find excuses, to make everything better

It’s generational trauma I got it from my mama

I know I shouldn’t bargain, I got about ten years to

Figure out the key to detrimental curses

From someone else’s reasons, to make sure it reverses

Have a lot of stories that I might never tell

Tried to teach myself and that’s- right when I fell

Hurt by broken bodies, now all I can do is heal and feel

(I Was) stupid, idiotic, and ignoring my gut

Smelt it but I couldn’t taste the poison

Crazy how they all can be so damn insecure and unsure

Babe, get a life, please- be gone

Find something else to go and rot on

Can you smell me everywhere?

Does my voice haunt you to sleep

Is the record player playing one that reminds u of me

Are u broken to the bone

Are you scared of going old

Darling I’ll be the sunlight in the sky

But you will be the darkness of the night

One day I will figure what this whole things about

Trust my fucked up brain, to be good and get out

Makin’ up for everything that you made me see and be

‘Cuz you, and you, and you, you, you

You say that I’m lying but you know that it’s true

no one talks about it, but it’s heaven that knows /has the news

Babe, get a life, please- be gone

Find something else to go and rot on

Can you smell me everywhere?

Does my voice haunt you to sleep

Is the record player playing one that reminds u of me

Are you broken to the bone

Are you scared of going old

Darling I’ll be the sunlight in the sky

But you will be the darkness of the night

When I die I will haunt you

I will make sure you think of me

My voice won’t be as strained, As I take yours away

And you will never, ever

Forget my pretty face

Can you smell me everywhere?

Does my voice haunt you to sleep

Is the record player playing one that reminds u of me

Are you broken to the bone

Are you scared of going old

Darling I’ll be the sunlight in the sky

But you will be … the darkness of the night

I’ll be my own mother

If you want me to

I’ll tie my own bows

…Tie my own shoes

When I’m older I’ll have babies

They’ll be nothing like you

(and) They won’t grieve

The grief / things i do

Maybe it’s the end. of the beginning

Or the start of the end

Maybe someday someone stops your sinning

And I will get to comprehend

I’m just a mother’s daughter

I’m just my mother’s daughter

Hear my voice Hear my Cry

Older from the hunger

Footprints make me younger

Tell me how, tell me why

Cus I’m just a mother’s daughter

Just a mother…

I’ll fix my own brain

Clean up after you

Lay in the bed

The bed where you would choose

To hurt, to kick, to hit, to scream

To you it wouldn’t mean a thing

As I was left to swallow my own dream

Maybe it’s the end. of the beginning

Or the start of the end

Maybe someday, someone stops this sinning

And takes me, for all I am…

I’m just a mother’s daughter

I’m just my mother’s daughter

Hear my voice Hear my cry

Older from the hunger,

Footprints make me younger

Tell me how tell me why

Cus I’m just a mother’s daughter

Just a mother…

This monomania’s deep in me

I take responsibility

You caught me like a deer shot by a gun

(now) I’ll be 27 soon

Get married on a lake in June

(and) drown the way you did, when you were young

Cuz I’m just a mother’s daughter

I’m just my mother’s daughter

Hear my voice Hear my cry

I’m just a mother’s daughter

I’m just my mother’s daughter

Tell me how tell me why

I’m just a mother’s daughter

I’m just a mother’s daughter

I woke up

In the same room

In the same bed as always

I felt a

Bit weirder

Than I felt

Before

Till I was conscious, remembered

What happened when I closed my door

Oh I killed myself yesterday

I felt so much peace, cus I knew it was the end

I woke but I still feel like I died that day

I killed myself yesterday

I thought that I deserved it, I had to go ago

Im telling you the story but feels like yesterday

I died that day

I still feel it today

That fulfilling feeling

Of being done with something

When you’re too bad at healing

Oh that fucking feeling

Had notes written out

Had the place, the perfect setting

My brother was away so I thought it’d be less scary

I thought and thought about it

Till I didn’t anymore and it was done

Lord I killed myself yesterday

I felt so much peace, cus I knew it was the end

I woke up but I feel like I died that day

I killed myself yesterday

I thought that I deserved it, I had to go away

I’m telling you the story but it feels like yesterday

I died that day

Bury me in a castle

My body in a castle

Hold my hand until the morning

Tell my story in the cities

Don’t forget me as ur growing

I killed myself yesterday

For some reason I’m still awake

I really thought that I deserved it

But I know now what I didn’t then

I died that day